The Magical and Hopeless
by BmS TenniS03
Summary: Haha..funny..READ IT!


The Magical and Hopeless  
  
  
  
(A/N yes I did get the title from the young and hopeless.  
  
this is more of a stupid fic...lol. But still funny. I got some  
  
quotes from http://www.angelfire.com/magic/lovefools/unlikelythings.htm  
  
which is a site for things that an HP character would be VERRRY  
  
unlinkely to say. So..read it!)  
  
Scene 1  
  
Gryffindor Common Room  
  
/Hermione is in the common room, singing and dancing in a new set of dress robes. Harry and Ron enter the scene/  
  
Hermione: I feel pretty, oh so pretty!  
  
Harry: Hermione's off her rocker!  
  
**Ron nods and stares fondly at her**  
  
Harry: Ron?  
  
Ron: Shut up.  
  
Harry: Wha--  
  
**Ron walks over to Hermione, grabbs her, and kisses her fierely(haha i got that from sims)**  
  
**Harry exits scene**  
  
Scene 2  
  
Potions Class  
  
/Snape walks in twirling his hair around his finger/  
  
Snape: I love what these Herbal Essascences to for my hair! Don't you, Harry?  
  
Harry: Er...  
  
Snape: Oh, you're such a clever lad. Here, have a cookie.  
  
**Hands Harry a cookie**  
  
Snape: Today, we shall be concocting Herbal Essescences Shampoo. So class tell me why do we need the blood of a venomous spider used in the shampoo?Anyone?? I'll give some extra points!...Granger?  
  
Hermione: ....hmm...i dont know....  
  
Snape: That's ok. Yes, Goyle?  
  
Goyle: *gives the correct answer*  
  
Snape: WRONG! Ten points from Slytherin! Draco...I really admire your pretty hair.  
  
Draco: Why, thank you sir! Everyone in this class can be as pretty as me, with Herbal Essensces hair color.  
  
Scene 3  
  
Great Hall  
  
/Harry, Ron, and Hermion sit down beside Fred and George/  
  
Fred: Y'know, I think we should drop the Joke Shop idea and become ZOO KEEPERS!  
  
George: What do you think Harry?  
  
Harry: Erm...  
  
Hermione: It's a great idea, Fred.  
  
**Flutters eyelashes and smiles**  
  
Fred: You think so?  
  
Hermione: Oh definatley.  
  
Fred: Hmm..what do you say George?  
  
George: Oh yes, let's.  
  
Fred: Alright. You(points to hermione). 10 'o clock. My dorm. You(points to Ron). My dorm. 11 o' clock. Bring a friend.  
  
Hermione: Shall I bring some whipped creme?  
  
Fred: Might as well...and bring some cherries too.  
  
Scene 4  
  
Slytherin Common Room  
  
Crabbe: Pardon me, Gregory, but I do believe I need help with my Arithmancy homework: Do you know the sine for 64 degrees?  
  
Goyle: Of course I do, Vincent. It's 0.898794, but its estimated to seven digits, of course. Incidentally, can you tell me what's the square route for 561.78?  
  
Crabbe: Undoubtedly. It's 23.7019, estimated to six digits. Thank you, Gregory.  
  
  
  
Goyle: Thank you, it was my pleasure. Shall we discuss Freud now?   
  
Crabbe: No...here comes Draco. Stupid face!  
  
**Both make stupid faces**  
  
Draco: Guess what? I screwed the HOTTEST mudblood last night!  
  
Crabbe: Who?  
  
Draco: Granger!  
  
Scene 5  
  
Final battle with Voldemort  
  
Voldemort: Did Sirius ever tell you about your father, Harry?  
  
Harry: He told me you killed him!!!  
  
Voldemort: I am your father, Harry.  
  
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [Looking very angsty indeed and making   
  
an ugly face]  
  
/Ron and Hermione enter scene/  
  
Hermione: It's Voldemort!  
  
Voldemort: NOBODY MOVE! I DROPPED MY CONTACTS!  
  
**Drops to the ground and searches franticaly**  
  
/Dumbledore enters scene with McGonagall/  
  
Dumbledore (waving a bloodstained chainsaw and laughing insanely) Die, Voldemort, DIE, DIE! MWAHHAHAHAHA!  
  
**Kills Voldemort**  
  
Harry: You da man, Dumbledore!  
  
Dumbledore: Foshizzle, mah nizzle!  
  
McGonagall: Word.   
  
Scene 6  
  
Entrance Hall  
  
/Malfoy and Ron are all alone(no nothing happens you perverts)/  
  
Ron: Here's your teddy Bear, Draco - I searched high and low for him,   
  
and managed to salvage it from the Death Eaters' headquarters after   
  
Hermione defeated Voldemort with the Karaoke spell.  
  
Draco: Oh thank you! Thank you, Weasel...er... I mean Weasley.   
  
Thank you! Thank you for saving Pookie. Oh Pookie, I've missed you   
  
so! I thought I'd never see you again!   
  
Ron: Wanna see my tatoo?  
  
**happy reunion**  
  
/Harry enters scene/  
  
Harry: Dude! You got a tattoo!   
  
Ron: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?   
  
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?   
  
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?   
  
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?   
  
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?   
  
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?   
  
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?   
  
Malfoy: Oh shut up.  
  
Scene 7  
  
Malfoy Mansion  
  
/Hermione and Draco are arguing/  
  
Draco: I hate purebloods!  
  
Hermione: I hate mudbloods!  
  
Lucius: I LOVE MUDBLOODS!  
  
Draco and Hermione: OH SHUT UP!  
  
Draco: Aw, you know I'm really just a Mudblood at heart!  
  
**FADES TO BLACK**  
  
Lol. Yes it was retarded. So sue me. I'm really hyper right now so UH. 


End file.
